With all due respect to David Letterman...

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While hanging out at the clubhouse patio here at the SCGA Golf Course in Murrieta, waiting for the WSCGA girls’ golf championships to conclude, I came up with the top 10 reasons folks in the Inland Empire don’t read or subscribe to The Times:

1. They don’t read English.

2. They don’t know how to operate a computer.

3. The paper boy can’t get past the pit bulls that roam freely on the street.

4. They got priced out of San Diego County and moved to Murrieta, but still like to think Carlsbad is their hometown.

5. They think we’re all snobs.

6. Their real estate agent told them The Times doesn’t cover the IE, and they believed the realtor about that, too.

7. When you’re sitting on the freeway four hours a day, who has time to read?

8. Their adjustable-rate mortgage just ‘adjusted’ and they can’t afford their electricity bill, much less their subscription.

9. They don’t like reading about the bad stuff that only happens in Los Angeles.

10. Denny’s always has extra copies laying around.

- Dan Arritt