Throw Moammar From the Train

In the category of ultimate sequels, director Ted Kotcheff offered us this: “Rocky V, Rambo IV.” That’s right--a boffo combo.

Kotcheff, who directed the first Rambo--”First Blood”--said producers Andy Vajna and Mario Kasser approached him last year about directing a “Rambo” sequel. So Kotcheff pitched the following storyline:

“Rocky, who’s now defeated virtually everything that moves, is challenged by Moammar Kadafi to take on the ‘pride of Muslim youth.’ Despite warnings from the State Department, he accepts and flies to the site of the worldwide television event in Libya.”

Then Kadafi throws our hero into an impregnable mountain aerie and tosses away the key. “As Rocky’s such an important American symbol, the U.S. President assigns the only man in the world who can bring him back alive--Rambo.”

In the story’s only nod to Shakespearean comedy, the bloody finale has the two men realizing they are twin brothers separated at birth.

“Vajna and Kassar thought about it for a moment and realized I was putting them on,” said Kotcheff. “But from time to time, I’ll tell the story and perk the interest of some high-level studio executives.”