Elvis wasn’t in town on his 57th...

Elvis wasn’t in town on his 57th birthday Wednesday so the KLOS-FM disc jockeys known as Mark and Brian (or is it Brian and Mark?) thoughtfully dispatched an impersonator of the King to City Hall to serenade Mayor Bradley.

Alas, an aide said His Honor wasn’t available. The mayor was in a meeting involving the L.A. County Transportation Commission’s controversial decision to hire the costlier of two bidders to build cars for the Metro Green Line.

Maybe that’s why the impersonator burst into a rendition of “Mystery Train.”

Drought or no drought, L.A. County is as fertile as ever when it comes to producing monster roots.

A year ago, Roto-Rooter’s national competition was dominated by a 46-foot whopper that sprouted up outside a Trousdale Estates mansion, whose owner preferred to remain anonymous despite the honor.

This time, a 69-foot, 10-inch pipe-buster found in a Marina del Rey storm drain by serviceman Enzo Villavisencio has been named the U.S. titlist. It took Villavisencio more than an hour to reel it in, the kind of adventure that Hemingway could describe so memorably.

The champion appendage branch will be inducted into the company’s Hall of Fame in Des Moines, Iowa, later this month. We hope it gets an agent before the movie people start coming after it.

Business has been bad for the local all-business news station, KBLA-AM (1580), which has been forced to fire half its staff. In its previous life, you may recall, the station was KDAY and played rap. We think there’s hope here. Perhaps listeners and advertisers wouldn’t find the station so K-BLAH if it combined formats, that is, presented business bulletins in rap verse.

A news report might begin something like this:

Yo, listen HERE

It’s been a bad YEAR

Auto sales are DOWN

Can Bush turn it A-ROUND?

On second thought, maybe a polka/business news format would be preferable.

After The Times reported that elected officials request free copies of thousands of dollars worth of videotapes of City Council meetings each year, City Councilwoman Ruth Galanter proposed that the politicos be forced to pay a fee for each copy.

She put her motion into verse:

Council members love to see

Their smiling faces on TV.

And city funds are paying for

Tape reproductions by the score .

Which reproductions oft become

A very useful campaign plum.

Yo, Ruth, KBLA has some openings for on-air personalities . . .

miscelLAny:

The landmark was founded in 1917 by Dr. Hubert Eaton, who expressed the hope that it would be “a great park, devoid of misshapen monuments . . . where lovers new and old shall love to stroll.” Its name: Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale.