A Silver Tongue He Hasn’t, but Gibbs’ Voice Is Golden

Glen Macnow of the Philadelphia Inquirer on NBC analyst Joe Gibbs:

“If you want to hire him to blab at the next garden club meeting, his standard fee is $20,000. Gibbs has 20 such gigs lined up, according to his agent.

“That’s amazing since, in 12 years as coach of the (Washington) Redskins, Gibbs never had anything interesting to say.”

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Trivia time: Who is the only active player to appear in the World Series with four different teams?

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Shooting star: Andre Rison, Atlanta Falcon wide receiver, says he packs a gun because: “In this town, I’m a celebrity. You have to protect yourself.”

This moved Furman Bisher of the Atlanta Journal to write: “I fear the poor fellow overestimates his prominence.”

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Comedy club: From Andy Van Slyke of the Pittsburgh Pirates: “When I played third base for Louisville and a little with the Cardinals, they called me Brooks--Mel Brooks.”

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Quack quack: From The Good Doctor in Inside Sports: Q: Name some of the players who definitely should sign with the NHL’s Anaheim Ducks.

A: Bill Ranford, Drake Berehowsky, Tim Watters, Goose Gosselin, Glen Featherstone and Brad Marsh should all collect a poultry sum from Owner Harold Mallard.

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Furious fan: A T-shirt worn at the Stanford-Washington game Sept. 4 at Seattle gets the originality award.

“Pac-9--If You Can’t Beat’ Em, Disqualify ‘Em.” And on the back of the shirt, “Roses? We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Roses.”

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Two-point curse: USC Coach John Robinson is now 0 for 2 while trying to win a game in the closing seconds with a two-point conversion attempt.

In 1982, USC trailed UCLA, 20-19, when Robinson opted for a two-point conversion. USC quarterback Scott Tinsley was sacked by Karl Morgan before he could throw a pass.

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The real end zone: John Crumpacker of the San Francisco Examiner noticed in the Denver Bronco media guide that safety Tyrone Baxter once worked as a grave digger.

“A suitable occupation for a team that has lost so many Super Bowls,” Crumpacker wrote.

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Beating a habit: From Bernie Lincicome of the Chicago Tribune: “Manuela is the oldest of the Bulgarian Maleevas. The first time she won a tennis match, the Sofia paper reported she had beaten a woman named Virginia Slim.”

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Is he homeless? Herb Caen of the San Francisco Chronicle says a reader nominates Kent Hrbek of the Minnesota Twins for Creep of the Week honors.

Said Hrbek: “I’m working hard for the American dream and it’s being taken way” by the new income tax increase.

Caen notes that Hrbek earns $3 million a year as a .231 hitter.

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Trivia answer: Lonnie Smith with Philadelphia in 1980, St. Louis in 1982, Kansas City in 1985, and Atlanta in 1991 and 1992.

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Quotebook: Dallas Cowboys Coach Jimmy Johnson, in his book, “Turning the Thing Around,” on people who made fun of his hairstyle: “They confused my hairstyle with what was going on beneath it.”