Gender Gap Is the Name of Their Game

Your life as you’ve known it is over. Divorced, on your own, you wonder what has happened to your world. You’re also wondering what the opposite sex that put you in such a position could possibly be thinking. Depressed, deflated and confused, you . . .

A) Commence therapy.

B) Commence eating.

C) Develop a board game that deals with the very things that changed your life--the clash between the sexes--and go to beat the odds stacked against independent game entrepreneurs, selling numerous copies of your game, ending up on national television, where you eventually end up engaged to be wed, with Regis Philbin as a witness, the story of your success inspiring others who not only buy your game but request your autograph.

There’s a knack to this board game business, a knack so precise that only 1% of games put out by independent producers--those not named Milton Bradley, Parker Bros., etc.--ever sell successfully.

It turns out that Kathryn Parker and David Klisares have the knack, though they discovered that only after, and because of, finding themselves in rather unhappy straits--David’s marriage ending after 10 years, Kathryn’s just days before she gave birth to her second child.

It’s such circumstances that cause some to cry out, to rue their lot and question the cosmos or, in Parker and Klisares’ case, to come up with a cute concept and package it in a spiffy box. It’s called the Gender Gap, a game that plays upon differences between the sexes which the Orange County couple--he lives in Lake Forest, she in Rancho Santa Margarita--came up with after they began dating in 1993.

“It wasn’t a fluke that this was the subject we settled on for a game,” Klisares said. “It was helping us understand what we’d been through. Really, it helped us survive.”

And very well. They marketed the game on their own, and it has sold out numerous times in specialty stores. An appearance on the nationally syndicated “Mike and Maty Show” prompted an immediate demand for the game--a store in Thousand Oaks received 25 calls requesting it while the pair were still on the air. There is talk of a second set of questions to accompany the original 800, and there has been some discussion of turning the concept into a TV game show. The game will soon hit retail heaven when toy behemoth Toys R Us starts stocking it this month.

All this from a simple idea. Men and women play either individually or in teams against each other and are asked questions about interests traditionally associated with one particular gender.

Women may be asked who was the first driver to win the Indianapolis 500 four times (A.J. Foyt). Men might have to answer who is the editor of Cosmopolitan magazine (again, A.J. Foyt . . . wait, it’s Helen Gurley Brown . . . apparently there’s also a knack to playing these games).

They are also asked questions about gender attitudes and tendencies. So women get such questions as: What percentage of men underestimate the number of lovers they have had?” (50%). Men get: What do 90% of single women say is the most common lie they are told by men (I love you.)

“It just seemed so obvious to us, I mean, it’s the most basic thing people talk about,” Parker said. “The questions are funny because they are so basic. We kept wondering, ‘Why hasn’t someone done this before?’ It seemed ridiculous.”

Of course, how Parker and Klisares got together is borderline absurd. Just three weeks after giving birth to her second child, she was coaxed out of the house by friend Linda Baldy and ended up at a Costa Mesa restaurant. As they entered, Baldy spied a dark-haired man talking with some friends, turned to Parker and said: “I know that that’s the guy for you over there.”

The stranger was Klisares, who had gone to the restaurant on a spur-of-the-moment suggestion of a friend. The two eventually were introduced after Baldy forced Parker to send a drink anonymously to Klisares’ table.

Your friend wants you to send a drink to a strange man, you . . .

A) Decline, reminding her that you are not now nor have ever been Joan Collins.

B) Order the drink then drink it yourself.

C) Go for it. Who knows? The guy may be good for a snappy board game concept.

“We found out that each of us had been divorced, and then we found out we both had kids [Klisares has two daughters],” Parker said. “He kept asking me the ages of my kids, and I said, ‘ “My daughter’s 4 and my son is . . . young.’ He asked how young, and I said, ‘Really young.’ ”

The two started dating, but, so they could also be with their children, that often meant staying in nights to play board games. Soon they got the idea to do one on their own. Klisares, an executive with State Farm Insurance, designed game cards on his computer. They became more serious about the idea and imposed a six-month deadline to come up with a prototype.

It ended up taking 18 months, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. The pair would meet each night at 9 and work until 2 a.m. trying to come up with questions. They culled questions from cookbooks, etiquette guides and sports encyclopedias. They looked through literally tons of magazines for survey answers; they looked for the same stuff in self-help books.

“I’d go to a bookstore and I’d get every self-help book on the shelf,” Klisares said. “‘Men Are From Mars . . . ‘ stuff like that. I’m sure those people probably thought I was the most dysfunctional guy in the world.”

Klisares admits that searching those books many times provided the answers that were useful beyond the makeup of the game. In fact, looking back, he and Parker believe the game itself was sort of a way to get on with their lives.

*

Their success so far in marketing the game has been remarkable.

“Most people have one really good game in them, the difference being [their ability] to follow it through; marketing is no small part of this,” said Sam Hamo, who owns Gamesmanship in Costa Mesa, which has sold out of the game several times. “That’s what makes them unusual and well suited for this. They’ve put together a lovely package, and they’ve sold it properly. Of course, it helps that their own stories are compelling and that they’re a very attractive couple.”

Parker, a former marketing executive whose previous clients had included Kemper Financial Service, pushed the game hard. It was Parker who pushed to get on the “Mike and Maty Show” and ended up there just three days after the game had hit the market. The appearance on the show went so well that a second appearance was quickly scheduled. The pair appeared along with Regis Philbin, and midway through playing the game, Klisares proposed marriage on the air to Parker.

“I arranged it with them. I even had to rehearse how I was going to do it,” he said. “They told me I had 13 seconds to get everything out. I said, ‘The most important thing I’m ever going to say and I’ve got 13 seconds?’ And they said, ‘OK, take 15 seconds.’ ”

It is Klisares and Parker themselves who sell many on the game.

“I get letters from women thanking me, not for the game, but for letting them know that you can do it on your own,” said Parker, who is no longer surprised when she is asked to autograph a game.

“I think people are drawn to her story, but I also think there’s something about the game that draws them too,” Klisares said. “I think they see a pattern in the game, that there are simply differences between men and women and that they shouldn’t make you crazy.”

Of course, none of this would be if friend-psychic Linda Baldy hadn’t predicted and pushed the relationship from the get-go. Asked now how she knew that Klisares and Parker were good for each other, she only shrugs.

“I just knew. I can’t explain it; it just seemed right,” she said. “I’ve never done anything like that before. But looking at the way this worked out, maybe I should go into business for myself. Maybe I’ll be as successful as them.”

You never . . .

A) Can say goodbye.

B) Eat oysters out of season.

C) Know.

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

Bridging the Gap for Answers

Here’s a sampling of questions in the Gender Gap board game. There are six different categories each in the men’s and women’s divisions--ranging from sports to fashion, automotive to cooking. Most of the questions here are from the relationship category.

WOMEN

1. What percentage of women like the way they look in the nude?

A) 20%

B) 30%

C) 50%

D) 75%

2. What percentage of wives who suspected their husbands were cheating were correct?

A) 30%

B) 50%

C) 70%

D) 90%

3. What percentage of women would choose to be very smart over very beautiful?

A) 20%

B) 40%

C) 60%

D) 80%

4. What do a majority of women say they argue about most with their husbands?

A) Children

B) Sex

C) Money

D) In-laws

5. What would most women of the baby boomer generation do differently if they had a chance to change their lives?

A) Wait until they were older to get married

B) Choose a different career

C) Choose a different husband

D) Get more education

MEN

1. What percentage of men like they way they look in the nude?

A) 20%

B) 40%

C) 70%

D) 90%

2. What percentage of divorced men surveyed said they would remarry their wives if given the chance?

A) 2%

B) 20%

C) 45%

D) 80%

3. About which of the following do men keep secrets?

A) Sex

B) Money

C) Relationships

D) Friends

4. If a man could be certain that his mate would never know, over 50% would want to have sex with which of the following?

A) One of her friends

B) A stranger

C) A female co-worker

D) A prostitute

5. Which one of the following scares men most about fatherhood?

A) Not having enough money to support their family

B) Not getting respect from their children

C) Raising a troubled child

D) Losing all their free time

ANSWERS

Women: 1) A; 2) D; 3) D; 4) C; 5) D. Men: 1) C; 2) D; 3) B; 4) A; 5) A.