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At a Belmont Shore coffee shop, Teri Rodenas saw a basket of baked goods next to a sign that read: “Freshness-Challenged, Half Price.”

ALL THE MAKINGS OF A SUPER AGENT: In “Ovitz,” the biography of job-challenged Michael Ovitz, author Robert Slater reveals that when the Hollywood mogul was at Birmingham High, he was voted “class con artist.” He had competition, too. One of his classmates was future junk-bond king Michael Milken.

EASY FOR THEM TO SAY: John Acosta of L.A. sent along LifeUSA’s “simple” instructions for qualifying for one of its insurance plans (see accompanying).

A NEW FORM OF PUNISHMENT? It might be good insurance to refrain from using one drinking fountain in the county courthouse, which was spotted by Greg Horbachevsky of Glendale. The fountain was accompanied by a hand-drawn sign: “Drink at Your Own Risk.”

DOGGIE SEE, DOGGIE DO: When Shawn Mallan lived in Washington, he had a problem with a dog owner who allowed his pooch to poop in Mallan’s yard.

One day, Mallan opened the Washington edition of the L.A. Times and noticed that this column had a photo of a sign created by an L.A. resident with a similar problem. The sign said:

“Attention Dogs! Remember when you were a puppy and to housebreak you, your owner would shove your nose in it??? Please inform your master that next time you do your business in my yard, he / she will receive the same experience. (Signed) Woof.”

Mallan posted the same message on his gate. End of problem.

That’s Only in L.A.--serving canineity.

SIGN-ALTERING, NOT MIND-ALTERING: Leni Corwin of Santa Monica noticed that a store sign that said “Mexican Pots” had been edited by some rascal who removed the S.

TALK ABOUT RARE AUTOGRAPHS: When the movie “Our God’s Brother” premiered in Poland, star Scott Wilson had the script autographed by the former actor-writer whose play the film is based on. Fellow by the name of Karol Wojtyla. You know him now as Pope John Paul II. “Our God’s Brother” is the story of a 19th century aristocrat-artist who gives up his worldly goods to serve the poor and is later canonized.

GIVE HER A 76-TROMBONE SALUTE: Wendy Hornsby reports that the head librarian at the Pacific Coast Campus of Long Beach College is Marion Flowers. Yes, there really is a Marion the Librarian.

SOUNDS LIKE AN ABBOTT AND COSTELLO ROUTINE: Lori and Alex Levi received a letter from Wells Fargo informing them that while they had deposited $49 in their Express ATM deposit account, the bank had accidentally registered the amount as $3. “As a result of this difference,” the bank added, with a straight face, “we have subtracted $52 from your account.”

Observed Lori Levi: “It doesn’t seem quite fair that they deducted $52 for a $49 deposit. Is this an example of the new math? Stagecoach robbery?”

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The Metropolitan Apartments in downtown L.A. uses this slogan: “Live so close to your boss you could hit him with a rock.”

Steve Harvey can be reached by telephone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at [email protected] and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, L.A., CA, 90053.