The Door Is Open, Tom, Come on In

Babe Ruth: “OK, here we go again. Who we got today?”

Lou Gehrig: “Tom Lasorda.”

Ty Cobb: “Never heard of him.”

Tony Lazzeri: “Sounds like a nice Italian kid.”

Walter Alston: “Did you say ‘Lasorda?’ Well, I’ll be.”

Don Drysdale: “Hey, look, Campy! It’s Tommy!”

Roy Campanella: “No fooling?”

Mel Ott: “Oh, no, not another Dodger.”

Billy Martin: “Not that [bleepin’] Dodger.”

Mickey Mantle: “Billy, be nice.”

Casey Stengel: “Manager feller, is he?”

Connie Mack: “Good, we can use a few more.”

Miller Huggins: “How many World Series this guy win?”

John McGraw: “How many games he win?”

Leo Durocher: “He won plenty. Button yer lips.”

Branch Rickey: “Leo, don’t start any trouble.”

Jackie Robinson: “You know, Mr. Rickey, I remember Tommy. Pretty fair little southpaw.”

Satchel Paige: “That a fact? What kind of ball did he throw?”

Dizzy Dean: “He throwed a gopher ball.”

Rabbit Maranville: “Lasorda struck out Musial once. Stan still hasn’t gotten over it.”

Nellie Fox: “I got a double off Lasorda, back when he pitched for Kansas City.”

Rogers Hornsby: “Hey, Fox. Ain’t you supposed to be someplace today?”

Jimmy Foxx: “Who, me?”

Joe Medwick: “No, not you, Double X. Sit down.”

Bill Veeck: “Hey, that’s right! Today is your day, isn’t it, Nellie?”

Bobby Doerr: “Yeah, you old second baseman. Congratulations.”

Shoeless Joe Jackson: “Yeah, congratulations.”

Kenesaw M. Landis: “Now, Joseph, you know that you are not supposed to be in here.”

Honus Wagner: “Oh, let him in.”

Pie Traynor: “Let Shoeless Joe in!”

Tris Speaker: “Kids do dumb things now and then. We oughta forgive and forget.”

Eddie Collins: “You oughta know, Tris.”

Lefty Grove: “This Lasorda character, you say he was a left-handed pitcher? How many games he win?”

Lefty Gomez: “None.”

Walter Johnson: “None!”

Grover Cleveland Alexander: “None?”

Cy Young: “NONE?”

Christy Mathewson: “How about this other fella goin’ in, this Niekro?”

Burleigh Grimes: “Man won 318 games, throwin’ knuckleballs.”

Josh Gibson: “Never heard of him. You say he’s a Negro?”

Cool Papa Bell: “Niekro, Josh. Niekro.”

Carl Hubbell: “This guy won 318 games and Lasorda never won ONE?”

Wilbert Robinson: “Come on, Lasorda did win games. Managers win games.”

Bill McKechnie: “That’s right.”

Bill Klem: “Managers. Bah.”

Jocko Conlan: “My pants are still filthy from managers kickin’ dirt on me.”

Mickey Cochrane: “You umps are always belly-achin’.”

Joe McCarthy: “Me, I’m happy for Lasorda. Proud to be in the same Hall with him.”

Clark Griffith: “Absolutely right. We managers got to stick together.”

Happy Chandler: “Well, it seems to me that some of these gentlemen don’t belong in here.”

Cap Anson: “I ain’t sure a lot of these ‘gentlemen’ ought to be in here.”

Roberto Clemente: “Perdone. No estoy de acuerdo. Bravo, Tommy!”

Chief Bender: “You tell ‘em, Roberto.”

Hank Greenberg: “Yeah, you tell ‘em, Roberto.”

Zack Wheat: “Here’s to Lasorda. Always room in here for one more Dodger.”

Lloyd Waner: “That goes for me and my brother.”

Billy Herman: “And for me.”

Johnny Mize: “OK by me too.”

Arky Vaughan: “And for Pee Wee, and for Sandy, and for all those other Dodgers out there.”

Ernie Lombardi: “You guys want to watch the ceremony, see Lasorda get inducted?”

Bill Dickey: “Good idea. Ruth, go out for some hot dogs.”