THE TIMES RANKING

No. Team (Record): Comment

1. North Carolina (0-0): Can’t win ‘em all unless you win the first one.

2. Penn State (0-0): Rivalry with Panthers has become the Pitts.

3. Washington (0-0): Head out to Provo with much to prove-o.

4. Florida (1-0): Docked a poll spot for having SEC’s worst-ranked offense.

5. Florida State (0-0): Coliseum rules: No alcohol, cursing or tomahawk chop.

6. Nebraska (1-0): So good Northern Illinois paid to not play ‘Huskers in Lincoln this year.

7. Tennessee (1-0): Manning versus UCLA secondary illegal in 46 states.

8. Colorado (0-0): Already practicing Hail Mary pass for Michigan.

9. Notre Dame (0-0): 48-year-old Ron Powlus to be honored at the half.

10. Ohio State (1-0): Prediction: Two-QB system will backfire, probably vs. Michigan.

11. Louisiana State (0-0): Baton Rouge. Mike the Tiger. Saturday night. Texas El Paso. Be there.

12. Stanford (0-0): Get past San Jose, then worry about trip to North Carolina.

13. Miami (1-0): Good work against Baylor, men, take the week off.

14. Texas (0-0): Haven’t seen this much hype for a group since Menudo.

15. Auburn (1-0): If it’s Thursday, it must be a victory over Virginia.

16. Arizona State (1-0): Surprise, Snyder goes with QB (Kealy) who reminds him of Plummer.

17. Alabama (1-0): Wonder what Bear thinks about ‘Bama throwing it 27 times.

18. Michigan (0-0): Idle again. What, are the Wolverines taking the year off?

19. USC (0-0): Tommy (Trojan), meet Bobby (Bowden).

20. Clemson (0-0): Look for Tigers to kick the “A” out of Appalachian.

21. Colorado State (1-0): Feelings about Rams could get bolder after Boulder.

22. BYU (0-0): Shoemaker gets the mount in crucial opener vs. Washington.

23. Northwestern (1-0): Don’t act like big shots this time vs. Wake Forest.

24. Iowa (0-0): State law requires five Big Ten teams in poll.

25. West Virginia (1-0): Hey, any team that can beat Marshall. . . .