Southern California Brides : Books Set Out a Buffet of Wedding Planning Tips : From offering work sheets on budgets and guest lists to exploring the best sites, these titles can help calm your jitters about the big day.

Years ago the only advice a bride could find on planning her wedding came from her mother, other female relatives or friends who had taken the plunge. Today it’s a different story, as books abound on every aspect of weddings. We’ve looked at some of the current offerings; here’s the lowdown on each:

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Planning a Wedding to Remember

Beverly Clark (Wilshire Publications, 1986; revised 1999, $18.95)

Beverly Clark has built a mini-empire around wedding planning that includes numerous books as well as a product line of such items as silver goblets, cake tops and lace garters. But the woman does know her stuff, and it’s all in “Planning a Wedding to Remember.” This no-nonsense workbook covers everything from finding your wedding style to contract- and consumer-fraud information to flowers.

Work sheets throughout the book help the couple keep track of budgets, guest lists, caterers and the gift registry. This is a great book for those who need to stay focused and organized and will be a boon to event planning novices.

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Elegant Bride’s 1,000 Questions About Your Wedding

Jaclyn C. Barrett-Hirschhaut (Summit Publishing Group, 1997, $16.99)

There are literally 1,000 wedding questions answered in this hefty book written by the editor in chief of Elegant Bride magazine. The Q&A; format is indexed, so you can find answers to topics such as announcements, the registry, receptions, dealing with divorced parents, and gift-giving (Q: “Are guests expected to bring gifts to an engagement party?” A: “Guests are never expected to bring gifts to an engagement party, but they often do.”)

Because of the specialized format, this may not be your first choice for a bridal reference book, but there is an abundance of information inside if you have a few minutes here and there to peruse the pages.

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Here Comes the Guide

Lynn Broadwell (Hopscotch Press, 1999, $19.95, https://www.herecomestheguide.com)

The Southern California edition of this comprehensive wedding guide (there’s also one for Northern California) is divided into sites and services, with some general tips on wedding planning thrown in. The huge list of sites includes hotels, restaurants, gardens, ranches--even a mini-mall. A detailed description of each location is followed by a breakdown of fees, deposits, amenities, etc.

The service directory lists caterers, musicians, photographers, officials and more, and the book assures that “the service providers we represent are top-notch.” Extensive reference checks and interviews are done before anyone lands in the guide. It’s a definite time-saver for planning that special day.

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Wedding Settings: A Video Guide to Los Angeles’ Most Romantic Sites

(Wedding Settings, 1999, $24.95; https://www.weddingsettings.com)

Choosing a wedding and reception site is a major decision, but who has time to visit even a few different locations? Now, with this video guide, you can look at a whopping 42 locales without ever leaving your sofa. View the Altadena Country Club, Geoffrey’s in Malibu, the New Otani Hotel & Gardens in downtown L.A. and others, and see banquet rooms, intimate spaces and outdoor facilities.

Although this may not be award-winning videography, there are enough interior and exterior views to give couples a good idea of what each site looks like. An accompanying Bride Guide pamphlet lists more information per location, including seating capacity, whether or not linens and silver are provided, and wheelchair accessibility. Prices are also given.

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White Weddings: Romancing Heterosexuality in Popular Culture

Chrys Ingraham (Routledge, 1999, $17.95)

This book probably won’t be on the must-read lists of most brides- and -grooms-to-be, but it is an interesting look at the institution of marriage. Or, rather the industry of marriage, as the author emphasizes in her cleareyed view of weddings.

Ingraham, an associate professor of sociology at Russell Sage College, tears away the veil of fantasy and takes a hard look at bridal magazines, religion, the garment industry, the media and just plain capitalism, and how they all figure into this tradition.

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Bride’s Book of Etiquette

The editors of Bride’s Magazine (Perigee, 1999, $16.95)

This is really a general wedding planning guide, covering the usual bases such as working with a stationer, roles of various members of the wedding party, second marriages, and who pays for what. Etiquette is woven throughout.

Under “Wedding Pranks,” for instance, guests are advised against throwing the groom in the pool and canceling the couple’s travel plans. “The Groom’s Role” lists a couple of pages of what the mister is supposed to do, such as helping send thank-you notes. And you guys thought all you had to do was show up wearing a tux.

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Thank Heaven for Flower Girls: Traditions, Fashions, Flowers & Keepsakes

Arlene Hamilton Stewart (Stewart, Tabori & Chang, 1999, $18)

This guide written for flower girls explains all aspects of this integral member of the bridal party. It covers everything from how flower girls came to be, to dresses, scattering flower petals, and what is expected of a flower girl at various events.

The tone is matter-of-fact and refreshing in its lack of condescension. Pink heart-shaped pockets to hold invitations and photos are sewn into the book to make it a great keepsake. The photography is exceptional, but it does fall short in its inclusion of flower girls of color.

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The Knot’s Complete Guide to Weddings in the Real World

Carley Roney and the Editors of the Knot (Broadway Books, 1998, $18)

The Knot, for all you non-cyberheads out there, is https://www.TheKnot.com, a huge wedding planning Web site that offers couples everything from budget work sheets, etiquette advice, an online gift registry--even their own Web page.

That may explain why this detailed book (by the site’s co-founder) has a definite modern slant. Couples are encouraged not to waste food: “Donate extras to a soup kitchen.” Invitations don’t have to be plain white; those that incorporate corrugated paper will have an “urban chic” look. And white Doc Martens are given as an option for bridal shoes.

Sprinkled throughout are tales of real weddings, complete with anecdotes of how brides and grooms coped with near-disasters or sticky situations and still managed to enjoy their day.