You Want Drama, Just Keep Clicking Remote

The high points, low points and ticklish talking points for the weekend that was:

Stranger things have never happened.

That was a wincing, crawling, fumble-for-your-breath weekend, and I’m not just talking about those of us who extended our remote-clicker talent and nervous systems in this grueling 72-hour marathon.

Everywhere you peeked these last few days--from Eugene, Ore., to the New York Met dugout to, of course, the back nine at Brookline, Mass.--the pressure was building, the delays were excruciating, and the thunderclap was about to hit.

The matches went to the end, the games went into overtime, the pennant chase raced into career-killing time. We all were just waiting for it, counting down . . .

USC went to Oregon, both suffered huge injuries, and together they stumbled into three tedious overtimes, about a billion penalties and missed kicks, and almost into Fox’s Sunday morning NFL pregame shows before Oregon won it and bumped past the Trojans in the

wide-open Rose Bowl race.

The Mets lost their fourth, fifth and sixth games in a row, fell behind Cincinnati in the wild-card race, and Manager Bobby Valentine pondered a second consecutive final-week failure.

The Ryder Cup, though, was where the weight was greatest.

In the first two days, which seemed to move as deliberately as Jesper Parnevik’s pre-shot routine, the U.S. team swooned early and endured critiques of its character and captain Ben Crenshaw’s strategies.

For most of the way, the hype and pageantry seemed to squeeze the big-name Americans and reduce Tiger Woods and David Duval and Davis Love III into synthetic replicas of their more dashing opponents.

So when finally the deep-impact detonation came, when the Americans won the first six singles matches and Justin Leonard’s birdie putt on 17 dropped in to virtually seal the U.S.’s incredible victory, everybody who paid attention had to feel the Earth lurch from its axis, at least a bit.

And exhale. It was a long, frantic wait.

THE BIG PICTURE

Two crazy, stupid weeks.

Really, that’s probably what it was. Come January, when you look back on this season, those first two weeks might as well be tossed out.

Charlie Batch for MVP? No, not right. The Green Bay Packers, struggling? Probably a knee-jerk reaction. The Seattle Seahawks, Mike Holmgren’s first failure? That’d be wrong.

Week 3 is when the real stuff began.

It took a while to adapt to the disappearance of Barry Sanders, the retirement of John Elway, the unexplainable continued career of Scott Mitchell, and the losses of Vinny Testaverde, Jamal Anderson and those precious kicker’s balls . . .

But Green Bay’s win over Minnesota--yet another Brett Favre salvation project--looked and felt as if the NFL hit mid-stride.

RISING: With the Jets and the Broncos ruined and the Vikings stalled, there’s nobody even close to a dominant team (Miami, maybe?), but the Redskins are one screwed-up field goal away from a tough 3-0, with an offense that looks as if it’ll stay sturdy into December.

After tripping Jacksonville, Tennessee is 3-0, all within the AFC Central, which is so bad the Jaguars and Titans are almost guaranteed 10 wins each.

MOST DEFLATED: NFC title-game teams, Vikings and Falcons, are a combined 1-5. Getting bombed by the Rams . . . That’s a real courageous showing by the Falcons after losing Anderson, huh?

BACK TO THE PACK: The Lions had a surge of adrenaline after Sanders walked away, but even Bobby Ross had to figure it wouldn’t last forever.

FORGET ABOUT THEM: Hey, who broke up the Broncos?

LEADING QUESTIONS . . .

Is Bobby Valentine, who semi-seriously suggested he probably should be fired if the Mets continue their second consecutive late-September swoon, making sense for once in his life?

Doesn’t it seem logical to give Pedro Martinez the MVP award exactly because there are so many gigantic hitting numbers--except when facing him--in the American League?

Wouldn’t it be nice to see Ramon Martinez come all the way back from shoulder surgery to start a playoff game for the Boston Red Sox?

Can you find a better match between sleepy team and powerful managerial presence than the Angels and Don Baylor?

Could you imagine any back-biting in his clubhouse?

WEEKEND TALKING POINTS

1. NBC’s Johnny Miller: Smart and pointed commentary right on target, which irked and motivated U.S. Ryder Cup players. As long as he keeps speaking from his heart, TV--and golf--is the better for it.

2. Those U.S. picture shirts: Looked like pajamas, guess that’s why players were so comfortable. Who gets that marketing deal? Kodak?

3. European slow play: I counted--while Miguel Angel Jimenez measured one putt on Saturday, Colorado and Washington played four downs and went 35 yards.

4. David Duval’s post-victory, fist-pumping imitation of a Jets’ fan: Now, that was an exhibition. He finally showed what boils under those shades.

5. Oscar De La Hoya visits The Times’ office: Watching Trinidad fight videotape alongside staffers, proclaims himself winner and new L.A. Times welterweight champion of the world.

6. Carson Palmer, sidelined: Another marquee player down in this season of star injuries. But Mike Van Raaphorst does know how to find R. Jay Soward.

7. Oregon 33, USC 30: Gee, do you (TWEET!) think that maybe (TWEET!) all those Trojan (TWEET!) penalties (TWEET!) are what’s (TWEET!) messing up (TWEET!) their (TWEET! TWEET!) rhythm?

8. Rick Neuheisel vs. Gary Barnett: Washington edged Colorado in a good one, showing that college players usually act more maturely than prima donna coaches.

9. Lakers need shot-blocking forward and big guard: Charlotte has one of each--Elden Campbell and Eddie Jones.

10. Shane Mosley: Knockout of Wilfredo Rivera (whom De La Hoya could not knock down) evidence that he--and not those two other, richer guys--could be the action welterweight for the millennium.