Empty Threat Considered a Crime

David Chan of L.A. spotted this unusual crime blotter item in the L.A. Independent: “Three suspects approached a 43-year-old male and threatened him with a basketball if he did not give them money.”

Obviously none of the suspects were members of the Lakers.

The Lakers are absolutely no threat with a basketball.

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Unclear on the concept: One Porsche dealer, whose ad appeared the day after the Lakers were eliminated, seemed to be taking a stubborn, never-say-die attitude about the team (see accompanying).

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Speaking of cars: I guess now we’re faced with the prospect of seeing thousands of vehicles with their Laker flags hanging at half staff.

Even up to the bitter end of the Lakers’ final loss, its radio station was playing this supposedly macho promo over and over again:

“Lakers’ attitude, 570, KLAC!” Yeah, attitude -- lethargic attitude.

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More appropriate messages: One Detroit fan at the final game held up a sign that showed a photo of Donald Trump and the words: “Lakers: You’re Fired!” Another, addressing the Lakers’ internal feuding, displayed a placard saying the Lakers needed “Dr. Phil” (the TV host) not “Coach Phil” (Jackson).

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Switching to other morbid themes: Robert Castle spotted one large container at a yard sale in Bakersfield (see photo). At least it was empty.

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Hey, we get the idea! The Times’ Mark Boster chanced upon one of the all-time blitzes of warning signs during a resurfacing project on Fair Drive in Costa Mesa (see photo).

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Such a deal: Gary Fisher says he wouldn’t have trouble choosing between the two price options for a box of golf balls (see accompanying).

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Unclear on the concept: The tag that came with a purchase by Tom Donaldson of Claremont didn’t bolster his confidence in the quality of the goods (see accompanying).

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miscelLAny: The police log of the Aliso Viejo News reported that “someone called about possible illegal dumping of motor oil by a neighbor. When deputies arrived, they found the substance was chocolate.” I think it should also be criminal to dump something as delicious as chocolate.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at [email protected].