There’s No Outrage Over These Outrageous Scores

A week after no player broke par on the final day of the 104th U.S. Open, golf as mockery continued in a different form known as the Booz Allen Classic.

Adam Scott, who missed the U.S. Open cut at Shinnecock Hills, all but whistled his way to victory Sunday at the birdie-bloated Booz, shooting 21-under par on greens that appeared to be softer than Craig Stadler’s midsection.

My question: Where was the reverse outrage?

Last week, the world’s top golfers ridiculed the golf lords for turning the Shinnecock Hills course into a wind-blown, baked-out torture chamber.

“Ridiculous,” one player called it.

“We were kind of like the guinea pigs out there,” another lamented.

Interestingly, this week, no one complained that the Booz Allen Classic, played at the TPC at Avenel in Maryland, was too easy.

Post-tournament quotes I kept looking for yet failed to find:

* This course was an absolute joke. My grandmother could have broken par. Heck, David Duval could have broken par.

* The only thing missing was a hole with a windmill and a shot requiring a putt into a clown’s mouth.

* Wow, those really were FAIR ways.

* My spikes sunk so far into the No. 16 green I had to ask someone in the gallery to throw me a rope.

The contrast between tour stops was so astounding you wondered whether it was the same sport.

Only two players, Retief Goosen and Phil Mickelson, finished under par at last week’s U.S. Open. At the Booz Allen, 57 players finished under par.

Goosen’s final total of four-under was good enough to win the U.S. Open. At the Booz, four-under par was good for a tie for 33rd.

Charles Howell III slumped out of Shinnecock after shooting a final round of 13-over 83. Four days later, he shot a Roger Maris (61) in the opening round of the Booz, a 23-stroke turnaround versus par.

There’s more: In tying the 54-hole course record at the Booz Allen, Scott missed only two greens in regulation. At the U.S. Open, players all but did heel clicks when they got a ball to stop on Shinnecock’s gruesome greens.

Golf should never be as hard as it was last week or easy as it was this week. Given the viewing choice, though, I’d rather watch great players gut it out in brutal conditions than great players turn golf into lawn darts.

Even if it means that, once in a while, Ernie Els has to shoot an 80.

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More second thoughts and parting shots ...

* Cal State Fullerton defeats Texas to win NCAA baseball championship.

It’s silly to suggest any sporting victory should define a university or those who attended it, but let’s get real.

For those of us who claim degrees from Titan Tech, success in baseball has taken the sting out of cocktail party discussions that might otherwise tilt toward condescension:

Fullerton, is that the school with a drive-through degree program?

Is that the college you can see off the 57 Freeway? (yes)

Did you know Kevin Costner? (no)

Did you live on campus? (does anyone?)

For the win-loss record: The school dropped its Division I-A football program in 1992. Apparently, blue-chip recruits were less than impressed with the fact Fullerton players used to construct their own stadium every year using portable Rose Bowl parade bleachers (required to meet minimum NCAA seating standards).

The basketball team last made the NCAA tournament during the Carter administration.

Anyone who has been to money-rich, country-club Texas can vouch for the fact that you can just about fit the entire Fullerton campus into the Texas weight room.

So, yeah, Cal State Fullerton defeating Texas at anything is news.

It’s true we’re the same commuter school at which, to make first class, you often had to park your car and then hail a taxi.

As Texas knows now, though, we also play a little hardball.

* Oregon football program receives two-year probation.

Unfortunately, the sanctions did not include a ban on the Ducks’ uniforms.

* Two national championship football trophies stolen from Florida State.

The hardware lost represented the school’s coaches’ poll titles in 1993 and 1999.

So, if you count the fact that coaches’ No. 1 USC wasn’t allowed to play in the Sugar Bowl, that makes three national title trophies stolen this year.

* Tiger Woods states on his website that caddie Steve Williams “went too far” when he kicked a photographer’s camera at last week’s U.S. Open.

Apparently Woods’ is worried that if he doesn’t clamp down on this problem soon, he won’t be able to find a photographer willing to shoot his wedding.

* Clippers’ No. 1 draft choice Shaun Livingston admits he is “a work in progress.”

Funny he should say that, given there’s a sign with those same words hanging outside Clipper headquarters.

* New York Times decides to pull its college football computer poll out of the championship series rankings.

Without question, a severe blow to Akron’s national title hopes.

* Shaquille O’Neal puts Beverly Hills-area home on the market for $7.5 million.

The house has ocean-to-city views, a grand entry, a wrought-iron circular staircase, an elevator, built-in fish tanks and a gym.

Sounds perfect for future Clipper Kobe Bryant, lacking only a whine cellar.

* Fourteen players in last week’s NBA draft were 20 years old or younger.

Look for Nike to rush a new line of sneakers: Au Pair Jordans.

* Rain forces Wimbledon to play on “middle Sunday” for third time in 127 years.

It has been raining so much at Wimbledon this year I caught a cold just watching the coverage.