Eat at Cafeteria? Bite Your Tongue

SESTRIERE, Italy — You have never tasted Brussels sprouts like the shrunken cabbage heads they are serving up at “Austria House,” the home away from homeland base camp where the New York Yankees of skiing nightly put on the Ritz during the Olympic Games.

No wonder the sprouts taste so good -- they are cooked with bacon and butter!

Many countries set up “houses” during the Olympics, the better to pamper athletes, coaches, sponsors and the occasional gate-crashing foreign journalists -- but Austria does it best.

Walking up the driveway to Austria House is like approaching a Hollywood premiere, with its searchlights, television trucks and paparazzi.

A burly man, oh, about 6 feet 5 in his socks, checks your Olympic credentials to deem whether you are worthy of entry.

You are!

Inside, the beer flows to a disco-beat backdrop. And if you didn’t like beer, well, there was plenty of vine.

Swirling hostesses, trays hoisted overhead, dazzle your culinary senses with delectable appetizers. In between bites of succulent ham and creamy mashed potatoes, you can hear off-the-record tales about skiing legend Hermann Maier and debate involving how deplorable it is that Germany, of all countries, could not have qualified a skier for the Olympic downhill.

What’s the world come to?

This is Austria’s snow show, and it always has been. Its Alpine men have won 53 Olympic medals, including a record 17 gold, and are expected to dominate in Sestriere.

In 1980, Leonhard Stock went to the Lake Placid Games as an alternate, earned a starting spot with two of the fastest training runs, then won the gold medal.

Werner Franz has 47 top-10 downhill finishes in his World Cup career, but he didn’t even make the downhill cut at Nagano in 1998.

“Now I go home,” he dejectedly uttered.

Austria boasts six of the top 14 skiers in this year’s World Cup standings. So there is a reason Austria spares no expense at these events, as skiing is its sport of kings, with Olympic success affecting the national psyche and fueling a tourist economy.

The thinking is, the more gold medals Austria wins, the more people will flock to its ski resorts.

So pass me some more Kaiserschmaren, a tasty plum and raspberry pastry topped with powdered sugar that will lead to a second helping and, ultimately, a prescription refill of Lipitor.