Dinner needs conversational recipes

Dear Amy: Several times a year, my wife and I have dinner with three other couples.

We all get along fine, but I do not look forward to these get-togethers because the evenings have turned into four hours of inane, shallow chitchat. My wife says friends should avoid sensitive issues like politics or religion, but I am at a loss as to how to get more stimulating conversation flowing.

If someone is talking about milk prices, it is hard to break in and say, “What do you think about healthcare legislation?”

Bored to Tears

Dear Bored: There’s politics, there’s religion and there’s the price of milk.

Talking about milk prices can lead to a discussion about current events, especially if you introduce the subject by asking a question, such as, “How is the economy affecting your business lately?”

Other topics can readily be found on the front pages (or the local pages, the sports pages or the movie listings) of your newspaper.

You can stay away from a heated political exchange if you decide in advance to listen and learn something new.

It can be challenging to listen to people prattle on about kids and ski vacations, but I believe that most people are eager to dig a little deeper -- if they’re given the opportunity.

::

Dear Amy: I am estranged from my nephew. His parents took him and moved away when he was a child.

He is now an adult, and I’d like to get together with him again, but he doesn’t want to get together with me.

I don’t want him to think I don’t care, so I try to keep up some sort of communication.

My heart is broken, but after two years of therapy (about 15 years ago), I “sort of” learned to live with it.

I think my whole family grieves over the loss of this young man from our lives. Of course, with the holidays this rift comes up annually.

Sad Aunt

Dear Aunt: Estrangements are sadly common. These rifts can be brought on by a multitude of reasons, and often the estrangement outlasts the memory of its cause.

You’re helping yourself by acknowledging the grief you feel and seeking help to put this into perspective.

It’s OK to continue to contact your nephew, but don’t send him gifts. Gifts have a way of putting pressure on the recipient. Your contact should be straightforward and warm. Don’t pressure him to be in touch, but let him know you’d welcome hearing from him.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson to askamy@tribune .com or to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan, Chicago, IL 60611.